Its about 5.30am..
56 hrs and my eyes has not seen darkness..
My mind has not stop thinking..Wondering..
My heart racing fast..
Wats my nxt step?..Where shud i go?..Wat shud i do?..
The world came crashing down when the "unsuccessful" application was being flung straight in my face..
Polytechnic has rejected me..I felt useless..
I dunno how to give up either..
Committing suicide is not an option..
Going private is a hard way..
National service is the final call..
Which one??..

Arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mum has allowed me to join La Salle..Considered Filming course..
S$ 51.5K for a 3yrs diploma..
S$ 15.5K after tuition grant..
But is it worthed it??..
The career path: Screenwriter, Director, Producer, Cinematographer
and other related careers such as Sound Designer, Script Supervisor, Post-production Editor..
I know Singapore might not be the best industry..And thats exactly the thing that has been running in my mind ryt nw..
After diploma,i have to serve "National Service" for god noes why..
And after that?..Hit the Msia movie industries??..
I seriously cant decide..


N should I enter NS..After 2 yrs..Where would i be going?..
Study??..At where?..Would the tuition grant still valid for me??..
Or would i be a different person after that and loose interest in studies??..
Work??...With no diploma??...Hw much shall i earn??..
Its a risk..

Or maybe sign on for another 3 yrs..5 yrs of total hell..Grab the 10k bonus..
And then??...

I am realli confused..My sleeps are disturbed..and hell is on its way..
Someone plz help me!!.